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President proves he's unquestionably presidential
by Dan Brawner Columnist · June 15th, 2017

Some say Donald Trump became truly presidential when he ordered missile strikes on Syria. Others have said he became presidential when he honored fallen Navy SEAL William Ryan Owens. Chris Wallace of Fox News declared Trump was elevated to presidential status the day he addressed the joint session of Congress.

But none of these events can compare to last Wednesday, just after midnight. when Trump tweeted, "Despite the constant negative press covfefe."

Internet search engines were flooded with requests for a definition of "covfefe." Linguistic autopsies turned up nothing. What did it mean? Was this a code word, a dog-whistle message, activating a secret black ops mission? Was it an in-joke? Russian slang? Was it, as the New York Times speculated, the result of an unfortunate "medical episode." Or was "covfefe" nothing more than an innocent typo, Trump's sleepy attempt to write the word "coverage"?

The unfinished tweet stayed up for five hours until Trump replaced it with this one: "Who can figure out the true meaning of "covfefe"??? Enjoy!"

Internet jokes went wild, such as, "Ask your doctor if covfefe is right for you." Some guy in California changed his license plate to "Covfefe." Covfefe t-shirts were printed. When asked about the mysterious word, press secretary Sean Spicer deadpanned, "The president and a small group of people know exactly what he meant."

As one of that small group of people, I can tell you what it meant. It meant Donald J. Trump is omnipotent. Now, even his typographical errors are treasured like the relics of a saint, scooped up like a movie star's discarded Kleenex and preserved under Plexiglas. Ever since his first days as president, pundits, professors and the wisest among us have sifted through his verbiage for some deeper meaning, as if Trump's brain were not the equivalent of a fidget spinner.

The fact that Trump apparently hit the "send" button before proofreading - or even finishing his "covfefe" tweet - could be troubling considering he is armed with the nuclear launch codes. But, given his careless fumbling with keyboards, North Korea probably has nothing to worry about. But North Dakota should be prepared to evacuate.

I think Mr. Trump really enjoys being president. He likes contradicting his own spokespeople and thumbing his nose at the intelligence community. He declares he knows more than his generals and that other world leaders are little more than deadbeats and cowards.

And nobody can do anything about it because he, Donald John Trump, won the election and is president of the United States of America. And when he tweets, "Who can figure out the true meaning of 'covfefe'??? Enjoy!" - what he really means is, "Ya'll can kiss my big ... " well, you know.
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