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Frank and Barron: The Prince and Pauper story
by Dan Brawner Columnist · September 28th, 2017

This week, I've been scrambling to find the time to get our house ready for winter. I've been cleaning the furnace and making sure all the storm windows are tight. I've taken down the garden fence and stored the chicken wire. There is hardly any time left to mow the lawn. It sure would be nice if some enterprising neighbor kid would come along and do it for me. Which is exactly what Frank Giaccio did for Donald Trump.

Golfing aside, President Trump is a pretty busy guy and he probably doesn't have time to mow his own lawn. So when 11-year-old Frank, wrote to him, offering to mow the Rose Garden, Trump jumped at the chance to spruce up the place and distract the Washington Press Corps with a heart-warming photo opportunity.

Frank who idolizes the president, thanked Mr. Trump profusely for the opportunity to show his skills on America's most famous grass. And, although Trump did stiff him out of the eight bucks he normally gets for a lawn, Frank's father had encouraged him to do this one for free.

Now I know what you're thinking. Sure, it was nice of Frank to volunteer to mow the White House lawn, but wasn't he cheating the President's own son out of earning a little extra cash? Just kidding. But isn't it curious that Frank and Barron are exactly the same age? This already sounds like a re-make of the movie, The Prince and the Pauper.

I have always felt sorry for Barron, standing on the podium next to his father, in his starchy little suit and tie when he'd probably rather be playing football in the mud like a regular boy. What if Barron had seen Frank working and called him up for some Oreos and milk-or whatever cookies billionaires eat? They discover they are the same age and, for fun, they trade clothes. To their amazement, they even look alike. Wouldn't it be wacky if they were to trade places?

"But wouldn't your father catch on?" asks Frank.

Barron brushes away a tear, "I don't see Daddy very much. I don't think he'll even notice."

The boys pull off their deception. Frank finds himself immersed in the world of wealth and power with bossy nannies and Secret Service. He is treated to gourmet lunches served by butlers and is chauffeured to school in limousines. But soon, Frank yearns for his own warm, loving family and his regular friends and the freedom he once enjoyed.

Barron gets beat up at school every day for a week. Then one day, he gives his classmates a hot stock tip on Nevada Fracking and Tobacco. They pool their lunch money and make $10,000. He teaches them how to swear in Slovenian and soon they are all friends. Barron experiences the outrage of economic inequality and although he has learned to love middle class life, he vows to return to the White House and share his new-found wisdom with his father, the President.

And so America was truly made great again and we all lived happily ever after.

But, seriously, if this really happened, I would be honored if Barron mowed my lawn. And I'd even pay him.
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